Transforming Self Defeating Beliefs through Emotional Intelligence Recreating yourself daily

14 August, 2026

VGEC Chandkheda always invite the leader of education to their campus to give life lesson to the students of engineering along with their regular studies. Eminent speaker from the education field and ISRO were remain present in the expert lecture to motivate and inspire the student. 

Dr. V. S. Purani, Principal, VGEC Chandkheda said that “In engineering management, the learning triangle (often called the Iron Triangle or Project Management Triangle) teaches that you can only balance three core constraints: Cost (cheap), Time (fast), and Scope/Quality (good)—the golden rule is that you can only ever pick two. Every single minutes you will be able learn new thing. To become only scholar is less important than learn from every experience.”

Speakers:

1.         Dr. H. V. Trivedi, Retired Professor, Government Engineering College

  • With decades of experience in engineering education, Dr. Trivedi will share his insights on academic excellence and professional ethics in engineering.

2.         Dr. B. S. Munjal , Space Scientist / Engineer-G, Former Group Director – SAC-ISRO

PhD Academician | Co-Principal Investigator – Nirma University Advisor – CISK-GTU | Author | Public Speaker, Featured in Marquis Who's Who | Chartered Engineer

🚀 Dr. Munjal will speak on the Ethics, professionalism, graduates attributes etc.


1. Deconstructing the Self-Defeating Belief

Self-Defeating Belief: 

"My unhappiness is caused by things that are outside of my control, so there is little I can do to feel any better."

This mind-set stems from an external locus of control, where an individual attributes their emotional state entirely to external circumstances—such as workplace stress, difficult colleagues, or unexpected disruptions.

  • The Trap of Helplessness: Believing that external events directly dictate emotions fosters passivity and psychological helplessness.
  • Negative Impact: When individuals feel powerless to affect their emotional state, they are more prone to chronic stress, burnout, interpersonal friction, and decreased productivity.

2. The Shift to Rational Belief

Rational Belief 

"Many external factors are outside my control. Nevertheless, it is my thoughts (not the external) that cause my feelings. And I can learn to control my thoughts."

The authors shift the focus from external dependency to internal agency. Grounded in cognitive-behavioural principles and Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT), this paradigm recognizes a fundamental distinction between an external event and one's internal reaction to it.

  • Acknowledging Reality: It does not deny that external obstacles exist; rather, it accepts that outside factors are often unchangeable.
  • The Cognitive Gap: Between a stimulus (external event) and a response (emotion/action), there is a thought process. Our interpretation of the event, rather than the event itself, generates our emotional reaction.
  • Ownership and Control: By taking responsibility for internal thoughts, individuals regain mastery over their emotional well-being.

3. Core Principles of Emotional Intelligence Applied

EQ stands for Emotional Quotient, or emotional intelligence. It is the ability to understand, use, and manage your own emotions in positive ways. It also helps you understand and connect with the feelings of other people. Feldman and Mulle emphasize that Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is not about suppressing feelings, but managing them intelligently:

  1. Self-Awareness: Identifying automatic, irrational thoughts as they occur (e.g., "This project issue is completely out of my hands and ruins my week").
  2. Cognitive Reframing: Consciously challenging the self-defeating narrative and reinterpreting the situation through a rational lens.
  3. Self-Management: Using the time gap between emotion and action to choose a constructive, composed response over an impulsive reaction.
FeatureIQ (Intelligence Quotient)EQ (Emotional Quotient)
DefinitionMeasure of logical reasoning and cognitive ability.Measure of emotional awareness and social skills.
Core FocusProblem-solving, memory, and spatial/math skills.Empathy, self-control, and reading others.
Nature vs. NurtureMostly fixed; determined largely at birth.Flexible; can be learned and improved over time.
Key IndicatorAcademic success and technical expertise.Leadership, teamwork, and real-life success.
EvaluationStandardized intelligence tests.Behavioral assessments and feedback.

4. Workplace & Practical Significance

Adopting rational beliefs produces tangible benefits in personal and professional settings:

  • Resilience under Pressure: Teams and individuals adapt faster to sudden changes or setbacks.
  • Proactive Problem-Solving: Energy is directed toward actionable solutions within one's control rather than spent dwelling on external frustrations.
  • Improved Relationships: Emotional self-regulation prevents toxic workplace behaviors, improving collaboration and leadership effectiveness.

Conclusion

Mastering emotional intelligence requires shifting from reactive victimhood to intentional agency. As Feldman and Mulle highlight, while we cannot control every circumstance at work or in life, we retain full power over how we process and respond to those circumstances through conscious cognitive control.

Glimpses